Communicating with a loved one living with Alzheimer’s disease or other types of dementia can be quite challenging. Even with the best intentions, caregivers may inadvertently make common mistakes that can increase frustration and confusion for those experiencing cognitive decline.
To create a nurturing environment, it is important to understand what to avoid and learn how to establish meaningful and supportive connections. Below are three actions to avoid, along with alternative approaches to consider.
How to improve dementia care communication
#1 Addressing and challenging their perspective
Why it’s a mistake:
When someone is living with dementia, their perception of reality can often differ significantly from ours. Caregivers may feel compelled to correct their loved ones when they talk about events that didn’t actually happen or insist that a long-deceased relative is still alive. While these corrections may be well-intentioned, insisting on the “truth” can lead to feelings of frustration, embarrassment, or anxiety for the person with dementia. This approach challenges their perspective and can increase their feelings of isolation and confusion.
A better approach:
Instead, practice validation therapy, an empathetic approach that involves acknowledging and validating the emotions and experiences your loved one is expressing, even if they don’t align with the facts. By engaging with their feelings, rather than disputing their statements, you nurture a sense of understanding and emotional connection. For example, if they talk about wanting to visit a parent who is no longer alive, you might say, “It sounds like you’re really missing your mom. Tell me more about what you’d like to do with her today.”
#2 Asking multiple questions
Why it’s a mistake:
Asking too many questions, especially ones that challenge short-term memory, like “Do you remember what you had for lunch?” or “Who did you talk to this morning?” can be overwhelming for someone experiencing cognitive decline. While we often ask these questions to engage them in conversation and encourage their cognitive abilities, they can serve as an unpleasant reminder of their cognitive deficits and sometimes lead to feelings of inadequacy and distress.
A better approach:
Instead, shift from questioner to storyteller or commentator. Share your own experiences and stories in a way that your loved one can engage with without the pressure to recall specific details. For example, rather than asking if they remember a shared family holiday, you might say, “I was thinking about our beach holiday last summer. The sunsets were so beautiful!” This storyteller approach allows them to join the conversation at their own pace and may trigger positive emotions and spontaneous memories without the stress of needing to remember everything.
Explore Hearthstone’s I’m Still Here approach to dementia care >>
#3 Rushing the pace
Why it’s a mistake:
In our fast-paced world, we often find ourselves on a tight schedule, trying to fit many tasks into a limited timeframe. When caring for someone with dementia, this sense of urgency can unintentionally affect them, pressing them to dress more quickly or eat faster. This rush can leave them feeling flustered and anxious, as dementia may slow their processing speed and ability to complete tasks.
A better approach:
Slowing down is essential. Allow more time for daily tasks and let your loved one proceed at their own pace. When helping them dress, lay out their clothes in the order they will put them on and gently guide them through each step if necessary. This approach removes the pressure of time and provides a sense of control and accomplishment. Patience and understanding are crucial, as their perception of time may differ significantly from yours.
Fostering meaningful connections
Navigating dementia requires compassion, adaptability, and a thoughtful approach to avoid actions that may increase confusion and frustration. As caregivers, enhancing our interactions isn’t about achieving perfection; it’s about communicating love and respect in ways that align with our loved one’s current abilities and experiences.
Find compassionate care and specialized support at Emory Mills
Offering a scenic view of the valley with the convenience of city living, family-owned Emory Mills provides assisted living and memory care to older adults. The comforting, secure, and homelike environment supports each individual with personalized care and the specialized and research-based I’m Still Here ® approach to meaningful and purposeful living, also known as The Hearthstone Difference.
Download our “Understanding and Navigating Memory Care: A Comprehensive Guide” for free to learn more about memory care for your loved one.
